Joke #12746

My kids get along great when they're sleeping.
Vote:
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
Vote:
has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sport
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldoser.
Vote:
has 51.45 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: kids
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period." "I don't know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one and Daddy totally freaked out and Mommy fainted"
Vote:
has 76.20 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party in a bar. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned: "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit. "And why not, darling?", the father asked. You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
Vote:
has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: bar, drunk, kids
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Vote:
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger." When he heard this, the other child started to cry. "Why are you crying?" "I’m here for a urine test."
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Vote:
has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, money
A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother." One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother. He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school, teacher
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids