Joke #4475

They said the baby looked like me. Until they turned him the right way up.

What do we do with crude oil? Teach it some manners!

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.

Yo mama so fat, her kids come out of her all at once.

What color is a burp? It's burple!

One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile. In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”

Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"

Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.

When teacher entered the class little Jonny slowly said: "Sir excuse me; your zipper is open." So the teacher thanked him and fastened his zipper. He went near little Jonny and told him: "My dear it would better to say: the office door is open." Next day when the teacher entered the class, unfortunately, his zipper was again open! Little Jonny loudly shouted: "Not only the office door is open but also the teacher is at the door and two small students are beside him."

What did the mama bear say to her cub? "Don't go out in your bear feet!"