They said the baby looked like me.
Until they turned him the right way up.
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Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldoser.
Three kids were smoking behind the shed.
"My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first.
"Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy.
"That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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What did the black kid get for Christmas?
YOUR BIKE!
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Billy: What a pair of strange socks you're wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots!!
Drew: Yes, it's really strange.
I've got another pair just like that at home.
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child?
A: Caps and robbers
One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile.
In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sperm whale.
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them.
When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That’s the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"