Joke #12896

My ex-girlfriend loves the heat. She has a nostalgia for hell.
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has 82.81 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: love, mean, relationship

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I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, "I love you so much, you know. I don't know how I could ever live without you." I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She said, "It's me talking to the wine.
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has 84.96 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wife, wine
Me: "I love you." You: "Is that you or the wine talking?" Me: "It's me talking to the wine."
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has 82.28 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wine
My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
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has 78.86 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, couple, love, relationship, single
A guy and a girl are roommates in college. The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fucks him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and: Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..." Her: "Really?!" Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?" Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore." Him: "Great! So he's available?"
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has 78.80 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: college, communication, gay, love, mean
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, mean, money, Valentines day
"I'll never find the right guy," I heard the young guest at the wedding shower sigh. "Don't give up," urged an older woman. "Every pot has a lid." "Or," a cynical voice behind her offered, "you could just be a skillet."
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, love, mean, wedding
I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: love, mean
I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...
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has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, single, women
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."
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has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: love, mean, relationship, romantic, Valentines day
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: love, relationship, single