Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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An old football player was dying.
So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?"
Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times:
1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team.
2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times.
3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?"
He said, "A bus passed over his finger!"
I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause."
My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
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Joke has 79.94 % from 345 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, friendship, travel
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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Chuck Norris was once shot.
The bullet died.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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