Joke #12997

Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, sport

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Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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has 85.34 % from 490 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, heaven, sport
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice? A: He didn't give a hoot!
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has 83.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
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has 83.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 74.86 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start himself a farm. He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow. The man said I've got just what you need. Only thing is down here we don't call them donkeys we call them an ass. He said when this ass stops you'll have to get off the cart and slap them to get it going again. The northern man thanks him and heads on his way. He comes up to a man seeking chickens. He says to the man, I'd like to buy a rooster and a hen. The guy sai d sure thing but down here we don't call em roosters and hens. We call them a cock and a pullet. The man from up north says ok, thanks the man and is on his way. He going along in his cart when his donkey stops in the middle of the road. He remembers what the man said he had to do to get it going. Just then a lady is walking by. So he walks up to her and says, "excuse me miss, but will you hold my cock and pullet while I slap my ass."
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
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has 70.38 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication, knock-knock
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house. He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, drunk, stupid
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, sport