Q: What did the basketball say to the player?
A: Please don't shoot me.
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Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV?
A: The Dallas Cowboys.
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.
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Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated?
A: "Oh balls."
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Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
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Q: What do you call black people in a swimming pool?
A: Coco puffs.
Q: What do u call mexicans in the swimming pool?
A: Reeces puffs reeces puffs!
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Joke has 39.55 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black people, communication, mexican, racist, sport
A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal.
Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet.
Of course, they should at the court.
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Two women were playing golf.
One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of them and he immediately fell to the ground clutching his hands together in his groin, and rolled around in obvious agony.
The woman rushed over and immediately began to apologize "Please allow me to help, I'm a physiotherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'll allow me" she told him."
"Oh no I'll be all right, I'll be fine in a few minutes" the man replied, still lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.
Following her persistence however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them at his sides, she loosened his trousers and put her hand inside.
She administered tender and skillful massage for several long moments and then asked "How does that feel?"
He replied "It feels fabulous, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
"Hey Bill... Do you talk to your wife while you are having sex?"
"Only if there's a phone handy", Bill replied.
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One day a fellow came into the bar with a cat, not just any cat, but a mean-looking ginger tom.
You could see the scars from across the room.
But that wasn't the weirdest thing; a six-foot ostrich - eyes like golf balls, followed them in - a real live ostrich!
I asked the man what he wanted.
"I'll have a pint of bitter," he said.
"A pint of lager for the ostrich and a gin and tonic for the cat."
The cat hissed at him.
"Make that a double gin and tonic. Thanks."
Well, I served the drinks, he paid, and they all knocked 'em back.
Wasn't long before the ostrich came back to the bar, and made it clear that it wanted the same again.
Well, I poured them.
I could feel the cat's eyes burning through me as if he was checking that he got his double again.
I took the drinks over to them, and the man paid, taking the cash from a purse tied around the ostrich's neck.
This went on for a couple of hours.
The man and the ostrich buying alternate rounds, while the cat just sat on the window shelf with his drink, looking fit to kill.
The whole place got quiet.
People sat and stared, and who could blame them?
Eventually, I plucked up the courage to ask the fellow just what was going on.
"Can't a man have a quiet drink anymore?" he rasped.
So I said, "No harm meant, but you've got to admit that you're a unique set of drinkers.
He smiled, but there was no light in that smile.
"Okay, you want to know? I'll tell you."
"I was across town the other week, working on the new road. Amid the dirt and the rubble, I turned up this old brass lamp. I rubbed it, thinking there might be a date or inscription or something. Anyway, out comes this cloud of smoke and a Genie appeared. You know - turban, scimitar, and the whole works. And he tells me I've got just one wish."
"And before you ask, yes, I did wish for a long-legged bird with a tight pussy. But this wasn't what I had in mind."
