Q: Why did the cowboy get a hot seat?
A: Because he rode the range.
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Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
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Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap.
The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."
The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."
The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses everywhere all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender.
The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.
The guy in the Yankees cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.
"What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender. "You just lost $1,000!"
"Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad you would laugh hysterically about it!"
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15."
The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time.
The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating.
The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
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Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
A: Bronchitis.
Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
A: The horse's name is Friday!
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks “Why in the world are you dressed like this?“
The Cowboy says, “Well it’s like this Sheriff… I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motorhome with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt . so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants…so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts… so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town, cowboy..' and here I am.”
Son of a Gun, Blond men do exist.
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!