Q: Why did the cowboy get a hot seat?
A: Because he rode the range.
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Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache?
A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
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Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
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A cowboy and a retard are sitting at home bored.
The cowboy says," let's go down to the bowling alley and beat up niggers."
The retard says ," OK ".
When they arrive , the cowboy sees five black dudes bowling.
He goes over and starts beating their asses.
He stops and looks to see the retard smashing bowling balls with a sledgehammer.
He goes over and says, " hey... I thought we was gonna beat up niggers?"
The retard responds, " yeah...you get the live ones, I'll kill the eggs ."
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Q: What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar?
A: Gimme a slug of whiskey.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap.
The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."
The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."
The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses everywhere all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender.
The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.
The guy in the Yankees cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.
"What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender. "You just lost $1,000!"
"Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad you would laugh hysterically about it!"
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the donkey.
"Your name is written inside the cover."
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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