Joke #13087

Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food? A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, parrot, pirate

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This guy gets a parrot but it's got a bad attitude and foul vocabulary. He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer door. The parrot steps out and says, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness." The guy's astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "By the way, may I ask - what did the chicken do?"
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has 83.86 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: bird, food, parrot
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it." Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks, "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"
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has 81.38 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: bible, family, food, parrot
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, work
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, food, geography, travel
Q: What is a parrot's favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: bird, communication, game, parrot
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
Q: How did the pirate get through School? A: By sailing on high C's.
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: pirate, school
A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. "How come you are sweating?" he asks. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"
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has 77.03 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: dirty, medical, parrot, viagra
At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber. "Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered. So he started searching from the bottom of the list: "Q... Q... Q..."
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has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis. The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?" And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, pirate