Q: How did the pirate get through School?
A: By sailing on high C's.
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Teacher: You boy, what’s your name?
Boy: Mickey Jones.
Teacher: We’ll call you Jones here.
We don’t use first names.
Boy: My dad won’t like that – he takes offence if people take the Mickey out of my name.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A: You would think R but it is the C that love.
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It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
(The Fast and The Furious)
It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%.
Passing's passing.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of his pants.
The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?"
The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender looks down and says, "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants"
The pirate replies, "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts."
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?
A: 12 pirates.