Joke #13149

I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
Vote:
has 77.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, gym, mean

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra." Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!" Wife: "You wear shorts!"
Vote:
has 83.05 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, marriage, mean, money
The wife and I had come to town to pick up a few things. We came out of one store and saw a cop writing a ticket for illegal parking right in front of us on the curb. So we asked him nicely to give a couple of retirees a break. But he paid us no attention and kept writing. Just loud enough for him to hear, my wife said, "What a Bozo." The cop looked up, stared at my wife, then started writing out another ticket. I said, "Honey, this guy probably just learned to read and write, and he's so proud of himself, he's showing off." The cop tore off the 2nd ticket and started on a third. We kept making comments and he kept writing tickets till he was up to about half a dozen. Finally, glaring at us, the cop left, and we walked on down the street. We didn't care about the tickets. We always take the bus into town, and anyway, that car was one of those obnoxious Hummers. Being retired, we always try to find ways to keep ourselves amused. We feel it's important.
Vote:
has 81.89 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, mean, old people, vulgar
I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, "I love you so much, you know. I don't know how I could ever live without you." I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She said, "It's me talking to the wine.
Vote:
has 81.65 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wife, wine
Me: "I love you." You: "Is that you or the wine talking?" Me: "It's me talking to the wine."
Vote:
has 80.86 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wine
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
Vote:
has 80.00 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife
Mum: "How would you describe me?" Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK" Mum: "What does that mean?" Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent." Mum: "What about JK?" Dad: "Just Kidding."
Vote:
has 79.27 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, women
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Vote:
has 78.70 % from 309 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, gym
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
Vote:
has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, wife, wine
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Vote:
has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
Wife: "There's something preying on my mind." Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
Vote:
has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean