A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"
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Joke has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, old people
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My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?".
I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
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Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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Joke has 84.27 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
An old man lived alone in Tasmania.
He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.
His only son, Jase, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Jase,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I wont be able to plant my potato garden this year; Im just getting to old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love Dad.
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
For heavens sake, dont dig up that garden, thats where I buried the BODIES. Love Jase.
At 4A.M. the next morning, the Federal Police and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologised to the old man and left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad.
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. Its the best I could do under the circumstances. Love Jase.
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I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
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Mum: "How would you describe me?"
Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK"
Mum: "What does that mean?"
Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent."
Mum: "What about JK?"
Dad: "Just Kidding."
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An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief.
After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.
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Me: "I love you."
You: "Is that you or the wine talking?"
Me: "It's me talking to the wine."
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I play the worlds most dangerous sport.
I disagree with my wife.
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine...
I always get better with age.
The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.