Joke #1318

Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
Vote: has 76.15 % from 125 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, dating, dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
Vote: has 84.77 % from 1399 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dating, dirty, money, sex
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
Vote: has 62.40 % from 104 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dating, dirty
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
Vote: has 51.27 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dating, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
Vote: has 36.52 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, dirty, little Johnny, sex
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
Vote: has 51.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dating, men
One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?" I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?" "What choir?" he asked. "Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied "Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said. I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled" I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
Vote: has 29.23 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, communication, dad, phone, relationship
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
Vote: has 66.69 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "So, why is their dad carrying that rifle?"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, family, Thanksgiving
A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts. The guy says, "No, ma'am." She says, "Well, do you have any dates?" And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"
Vote: has 78.47 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dating, life
Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon? A: A Tic-Tac.
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty