Joke #1318

Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
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has 79.25 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: church, dating, dirty

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A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
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has 85.03 % from 1970 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, money, sex
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
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has 73.36 % from 233 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, disgusting, fart, sex
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
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has 61.13 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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has 47.94 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
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has 37.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: church, dirty, little Johnny, sex
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women? A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
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has 69.95 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: coding, dating, geek, IT, technology
Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday Mass when he suddenly felt nauseous. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?" "I didn't have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK."
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has 84.73 % from 556 votes. More jokes about: church, health, little Johnny
A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get sunburn on his “tool of the trade”. But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”
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has 72.84 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dating, women
A pastor was caught stealing in the church by a member of the church. This was the conversation between them Pastor: Blessed are those who see and don't talk. Member: For they shall receive their share. Amen.
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has 82.48 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: church, life
Johny came crying. Dad: "What happened?" Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out." Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?" Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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has 67.10 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, vulgar