Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
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A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.
They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”
The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems.
This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy.
There is only one side effect.
That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date.
I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night?
A: Pastor Bedtime.
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Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?"
She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.
Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"
He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help.
One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay.
The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die.
So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist.
He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
Once there was a little boy in church.
He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, "Mommy, I have to piss."
The mother said, "Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite."
The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.
He told his father, "Daddy I have to whisper."
The father said, "OK. Here, whisper in my ear."
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