Joke #1351

I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
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has 61.42 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty

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A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
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Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
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has 79.75 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: church, dating, dirty
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
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has 62.24 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, disgusting, fart, sex
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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has 49.80 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, flirt, food, sex
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.
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Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women? A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
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has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: coding, dating, geek, IT, technology
It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand. Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound. The film began but the silence continued. Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dating, technology, Valentines day
A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts. The guy says, "No, ma'am." She says, "Well, do you have any dates?" And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"
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has 73.74 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dating, life
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
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has 50.20 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
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has 82.44 % from 507 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty