Joke #1351

I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
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has 62.19 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty

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A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
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has 85.20 % from 1922 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, money, sex
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
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has 79.14 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: church, dating, dirty
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
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has 74.45 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, disgusting, fart, sex
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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has 47.94 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, flirt, food, sex
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs. When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble". When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex, teacher
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
An elderly couple in their 80's were going to Florida. At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going. He then tells the officer that we are going to Florida. The customs officer now asks how long they were going to Florida for. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know how long we are going to Florida for. The husband tells the officer that they were going for 2 months. The customs officer then asks where they were coming from. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we were coming from. The husband tells the officer that they were from Hamilton. The customs officer thinks for a minute and tells the husband that he had dated a lady from Hamilton and she was the worst piece of ass he ever had. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says "He thinks he knows you".
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: communication, couple, dating, old people, travel
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. "Were you worried, father?" "Yes, I was really worried... I want to know how much did that date cost you..." "It cost me only four euros!" "Hmm, it's not that much." "I know father... But the girl didn't have any more money..."
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has 69.89 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: age, dating, money
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.88 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama