At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.
One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.
"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."
As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
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Joke has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: beauty, business, communication, customer service, mean
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My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?".
I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
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Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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Joke has 84.27 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
Mum: "How would you describe me?"
Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK"
Mum: "What does that mean?"
Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent."
Mum: "What about JK?"
Dad: "Just Kidding."
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Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra."
Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!"
Wife: "You wear shorts!"
An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief.
After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.
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I play the worlds most dangerous sport.
I disagree with my wife.
Me: "I love you."
You: "Is that you or the wine talking?"
Me: "It's me talking to the wine."
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I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine...
I always get better with age.
The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.