Joke #13304

Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Vote: has 61.59 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, fat, men, Santa, Thanksgiving

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Vote: has 81.42 % from 5005 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, college, Santa, ugly, Yo mama
One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run... but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the bottle and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Vote: has 79.56 % from 101 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, Christmas, elf, Santa
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Vote: has 78.92 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, game, kids, mean, Santa
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, Christmas, death, food, Thanksgiving
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, marriage, men, women
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, Christmas, Santa
If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Vote: has 63.82 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, flirt, romantic, Santa
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: easter, life, men, money, Santa