Joke #11237

One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run... but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the bottle and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Vote: has 78.85 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Christmas, elf, Santa

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Vote: has 85.52 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, game, kids, mean, Santa
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Vote: has 81.81 % from 3958 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, college, Santa, ugly, Yo mama
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, Christmas, Santa
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: elf, Santa, tax
If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, flirt, romantic, Santa
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, elf, Santa
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, elf, Santa
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, Christmas, elf