Joke #13321

Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, work

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
Vote: has 83.10 % from 636 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, work
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, work
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, math, work
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, math, work
The sales chief, the HR chief, and the boss are on their way to lunch around the corner. They detour through an alley and stumble on a beat up but valuable looking brass container. The sales chief picks it up and starts cleaning it with his handkerchief. Suddenly, a genie emerges out of a curtain of purple smoke. The genie is grateful to be set free and offers them each a wish. The HR chief is wide-eyed and ecstatic. She says, "I want to be living on a beautiful beach in Jamaica with a sailboat and enough money to make me happy for the rest of my life." Poof! She disappears. The sales chief says, "Wow! I want to be happily married to a wealthy supermodel with penthouses in New York, Paris, and Hong Kong." Presto, he vanishes. "And how about you?" asks the Genie, looking at the boss. The boss scowls and says, "I want both those idiots back in the office by 2 PM." Moral: Always let your boss speak first.
Vote: has 79.34 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, genie, holiday, management, work
A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out half of my brains."
Vote: has 38.82 % from 131 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, sex, work
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A:A high school math problem!
Vote: has 41.41 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?
Vote: has 45.89 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Vote: has 77.94 % from 283 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, teacher