Joke #13321

Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: math, work

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Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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has 83.10 % from 668 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, work
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: math, work
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, math, work
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, math
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: math, money, student, teacher, vulgar
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
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has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work
The only qualification for working at an airline is making a confused face at a monitor.
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has 84.78 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, travel, work
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
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has 78.20 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, wife, work