Joke #13321

Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: math, work

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Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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has 83.19 % from 710 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, work
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: math, work
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, math, work
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: IT, light bulb, phone, technology, work
Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow O'Malley of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Brian O'Malley as well as I did, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, old people, work
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
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has 69.17 % from 232 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
A deer hunter just messed up another hunt. This happened to him more times than he could count. He would spot a buck, aim, fire and miss. He would sneak up close just to get busted and watch the deer run away. He would sneeze just as the buck came into range. He would fall asleep on the stand, waking in time to watch a giant buck scamper away. Frustrated, he complained to his hunting buddies. "Everything that happens to guys that don't know how to hunt keeps happening to me!" he said.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, work