Joke #5473

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.

A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help. Helium doesn't react.

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"

There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game. At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000. The first question was what is 10 plus 11? She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!" The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect." All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5." She answers and says "20". Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance." So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2." The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"

Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.

First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.

Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.