A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
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Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work.
The philosopher can do without the trash bin.
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?"
The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one.
Ok wait I got 66 problems.
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
A: He didn't count with this...
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!