A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.
A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help. Helium doesn't react.
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.
A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have? I would have five dollars... You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny... You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!