Joke #5473

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
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has 51.08 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: math

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My math teacher called me average... How mean!
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A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
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has 76.67 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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has 52.12 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, "Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but I can count to Ten..... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" The mother responds, "Very good honey." The blonde asks, "Is that because I'm a blonde mommy?" And the mother responds, "Yes dear." Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, "Today in school we learned our ABCs! The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! .... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!" The mother says, "Very good honey." The blonde then asked. "Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" The mother responds, "Yes dear." The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy today in school we went swimming! But I was the only one who had breasts. Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" And the mother responds, "No Honey, it's because you're twenty five."
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has 75.81 % from 370 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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has 84.82 % from 1069 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, work
Three statisticians go out hunting together. After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out "We got him!"
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has 52.26 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: math
I love math - it makes people cry.
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has 57.10 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
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has 46.16 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, math
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
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has 50.16 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: life, math