Joke #13371

Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
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has 66.50 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, Hitler, morbid

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This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!
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has 83.25 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, morbid, travel
Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
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has 82.08 % from 381 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, morbid, sex
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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has 80.29 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
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has 80.26 % from 461 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
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has 80.04 % from 537 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, prison, women
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
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has 74.82 % from 260 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, relationship, time
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
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has 72.45 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: black humor, morbid, Yo mama