What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid? A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews have 10 fingers.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
One of Hitler's assistants says to him one day, "Sir, we're mining too many useless ores." Hitler replies, "Well, mine less." A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, "Mine FEWER!" Hitler looks up and asks, "Yes?"