I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.
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The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.
St. Peter: "What do you want? "
Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus."
St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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Is it still rape if you yell 'Surprise!' first?
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A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Sex is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.
Two kids were talking together.
First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands."
Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?"
First: "Yes, of course."
Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
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Q: What do you call fake spaghetti?
A: "I'm pasta."
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Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement"
Me: "Thank you."
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Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?"
Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1."
Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit."
Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead."
Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
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A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position.
His prospective boss asked, "Are you a smoker?"
"Not even a little," said the young man.
"How about alcoholic beverages?"
"Never touch 'em," he replied.
The boss smiled and asked, "So you spend a lot of time with girls?"
The applicant said, "No, not really."
"So you don't have any vices?"
"Well, I do have one," he admitted.
"And what would that be?" the boss asked.
"I tell lies."
Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, "Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?"
"No, I'm still alive."
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