Joke #13387

I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.

The following conversation took place in school. Teacher: "So we are all descended from Adam and Eve." Young kid: "My dad says we came from apes." Teacher: "That's probably true for your family Abdul."

Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!" The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused,because he was a bad ass, and would fight at he drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!" The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, "Damn it, Grandpa, you're drunk! Go home!"

Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back." Jonny: "That's what she said." Miss: "Get out!" Jonny "She said that too."

Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."

A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother: "Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale." "Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."

Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a week?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a month?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a year?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Ok, I have a joke. Her: "Ok." Me: "Knock, knock." Her: "Who's there?" Me: "You didn't remember me."

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? A: Doyouthinkysaraus.

There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout. Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today." The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?" Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."

My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat." He smiled. "Done."

Yo mama is so fat, it takes two texts for her to send a selfie.