Joke #13387

I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.

There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.

I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...

I don't like the term "anal bleaching". I prefer "changing your ringtone."

If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.

Yo mama told me that she had some wrinkles in her feet ; I suggested to wear stocking. She said : "Woo it is 50 years that I am wearing pants the chink of her ass hadn't been recovery!"

Yo mama is so fat that when she asked, "Why is the grass always greener on the other side?" Everyone replied, "'Cause you aren't standing on it."

Tom and Timothy were in the same regiment in the army. They were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together. After retirement, they went to different states and settled. However, they kept correspondence through letters and e-mails. To keep the memory of their boozing bouts alive, Tom always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately! When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained: "This glass is Timothy's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each - one on behalf of Timothy, the other for myself." Suddenly one evening Tom was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what had happened. He replied, "You see, I have given up drinking but Timothy has written that he has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend."

Your Moma is so fat the only words she knows is the universe.

Q: What do you call a black man on the internet? A: The dark web.

Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated? A: "Oh balls."