I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.
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A Chinese couple had a black baby.
They named him Sum Sing Wong.
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A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through.
The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?"
The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
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May: "Why did you slap me?!"
Michael: "I didn't slap your face! I High fived it!"
May: "I'm going to tell mom on you when we go to the sea side!"
Micheal: "Uh, Shore you will."
May: "Don't be such a beach."
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny...
Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
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Joke has 48.93 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
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Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2: "What? White?"
Friend 1: "No, expired."
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Joke has 52.09 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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One dinosaur said, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Another dinosaur said "A non-renewable recourse!"
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My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?".
I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
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It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
"If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?"
The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
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