Joke #13482

Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, food, stupid, Yo mama

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A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!" The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?" The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!" Without hesitating, the private kills the man. The general says, "See? That man has balls!" The marine general says, "That's nothing. Private, get over here!" The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?". The marine general says, "See that man over there? Kill him and then kill yourself." Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds. The marine general says, "See? Now that man has balls!" The admiral says, "That's nothing." He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump off that tower!" The seaman answers, "Excuse me, sir?" The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!" The seaman replies, "Fuck you, sir!" The admiral says, "See? That man has balls and he's got brains too!"
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has 85.84 % from 562 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, military, navy, stupid
Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death. That weekend at the funeral, the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me." And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."
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has 84.06 % from 360 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, food, wife, work
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
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has 83.36 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, food
Three men were walking along in the forest when they were captured by a group of cannibals. The king of the cannibals gives the three men a challenge "If you complete this challenge, you will go free, if not we will eat you." The three men, not wanting to die, agree to hear the challenge. "You most go in to the forest and pick out 10 of any fruit you find, bring those fruits back here" the king says. The three men head out in search of their fruit. The first man comes back with 10 apples in his hands, happy as can be. The king then says "You must shove those 10 apples up your butt without making a sound." The man reluctantly agrees to try. He gets the first one up without a sound, but screams in agony on the second and is killed and eaten. The second man comes back with 10 grapes in his hand. Again the king states the challenge. The 10 fruit up the ass, without any sound. This is going to be easy he thinks. He gets through the first 9 without a single sound. Just as he is about to shove the 10th grape up he bursts out in laughter. He is killed immediately. The second guy still laughing meets the first guy up in heaven. The first guy says, "What's so funny? You could have still been alive!" He replies "I saw our buddy coming back with 10 pineapples and a huge smile."
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has 82.62 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: death, food, men, time
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
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has 82.52 % from 397 votes. More jokes about: death, food, marriage, women
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
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has 81.97 % from 7104 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
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has 81.94 % from 5679 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back.
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has 81.49 % from 7550 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
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has 81.09 % from 2398 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama
Yo momma so stupid that she brought a ruler to bed to see how long she could sleep.
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has 80.72 % from 2990 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama