Yo mama so ugly that the football team yelled at her to get out of the bus.
"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me." "Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?" "Scissors," I replied.
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra." Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!" Wife: "You wear shorts!"
I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, "I love you so much, you know. I don't know how I could ever live without you." I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She said, "It's me talking to the wine.
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Me: "I love you." You: "Is that you or the wine talking?" Me: "It's me talking to the wine."
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.