Joke #13534

Yo mama so ugly that the football team yelled at her to get out of the bus.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, football, mean, ugly, Yo mama

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Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
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has 85.22 % from 780 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, kids, mean
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
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has 85.04 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, wife, wine
My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?". I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
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has 84.58 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
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has 84.08 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife
Mum: "How would you describe me?" Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK" Mum: "What does that mean?" Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent." Mum: "What about JK?" Dad: "Just Kidding."
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has 83.87 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, women
The wife and I had come to town to pick up a few things. We came out of one store and saw a cop writing a ticket for illegal parking right in front of us on the curb. So we asked him nicely to give a couple of retirees a break. But he paid us no attention and kept writing. Just loud enough for him to hear, my wife said, "What a Bozo." The cop looked up, stared at my wife, then started writing out another ticket. I said, "Honey, this guy probably just learned to read and write, and he's so proud of himself, he's showing off." The cop tore off the 2nd ticket and started on a third. We kept making comments and he kept writing tickets till he was up to about half a dozen. Finally, glaring at us, the cop left, and we walked on down the street. We didn't care about the tickets. We always take the bus into town, and anyway, that car was one of those obnoxious Hummers. Being retired, we always try to find ways to keep ourselves amused. We feel it's important.
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has 82.65 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, mean, old people, vulgar
Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra." Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!" Wife: "You wear shorts!"
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has 82.45 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, marriage, mean, money
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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has 82.15 % from 8066 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A priest and a nun were on a mission trip up in the mountains when a snowstorm Came up. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. The priest started a fire in the fireplace and found blankets and a sleeping bag but only one bed. The priest told the nun that she could sleep on the bed and he would sleep in the sleeping bag in the floor. As they were alone and beginning to get settled. The young nun said, "father?" in a song-song voice. He answered, "yes, sister?" "I'm cold." The priest got up and went to the closet and got another blanket and covered the nun. As he was settling back into his sleeping bag, she again said, "father?" "Yes, sister?" "I'm still cold." The priest got up and got another blanket from the closet and added it to the sisters' bed, tucking her in. He climbed back into the sleeping bag. Just as he was getting settled and the fire was crackling she called out to him again. "I'm still cold!" He said, "sister?" "Yes?" "We are all alone out here in this cabin in the mountains." "Yes, we are!" "Just this once... Yes? Just tonight... yes? Do you want to pretend that we are married?" "Oh yes! I do!" "Ok... get up and get your own dang blanket!"
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has 81.65 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, priest, weather
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
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has 81.03 % from 5460 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, college, Santa, ugly, Yo mama