Joke #13558

Q: Why did hitter kill himself? A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
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has 40.31 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money, morbid

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This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!
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has 84.91 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, morbid, travel
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
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has 83.88 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, prison, women
Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."
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has 83.52 % from 633 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, money, wife
Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
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has 83.11 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, morbid, sex
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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has 81.00 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, funeral, money, old people
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
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has 80.74 % from 371 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
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has 80.45 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
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has 79.64 % from 436 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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has 79.32 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
Don't make 9/11 jokes, my dad died at the twin towers. The best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
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has 78.80 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, morbid