Joke #13578

Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" Boss "Certainly not!" Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

Yo momma so stupid that she brought a ruler to bed to see how long she could sleep.

Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. "I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks." "But I could be dead by then!" "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."

yo momas so stupid when theives broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ''wait you forgot the remote''.

The only qualification for working at an airline is making a confused face at a monitor.

When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop. To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself. The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way? "Yes", replied the clerk. It was his idea. We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.

"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?" "That's right, Sir." "So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?" "That was my dentist."