Joke #13583

Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was shooting craps? A: He blew a hole in the toilet.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, redneck

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A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
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has 71.99 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, marriage, redneck
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
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has 71.59 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck
A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck. The father says "okay, you know what to do." Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick." The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, family, redneck, sex
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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has 48.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck
Q: What do you call a redneck that's bursting into flames? A: A fire cracker.
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has 73.02 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: racist, redneck
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?" "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should 'av bought yourself a rifle!" "A rifle? What fer?" "Suppos'n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"
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has 61.37 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: money, redneck, time, wedding
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors." This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again. Then came, "Manic-Depressives and Anal-Retentives." But is was still not good! So they tried: "Minds and Behinds" "Analysis and Anal Cysts" "Nuts and Butts" "Freaks and Cheeks" "Loons and Moons" "Lost Souls and Ass Holes" None worked. Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be accepted by the council: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and Ends." APPROVED!
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has 72.69 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, work
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
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has 71.09 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife