Why does the witch not wear panties when flying?
Because she wants to get a better grip on the broom.
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An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated?
"Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
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The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shit!" I told her.
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Joke has 53.73 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air.
Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
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How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse?
A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?"
"Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
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Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest.
She was very good at identifying the wine.
At the first taste she says: "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people were amazed.
At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953" and they were once again amazed.
Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her.
She tries it and says "Yak, this tastes like piss!"
And the drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?"
What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
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