Joke #160

Why does the witch not wear panties when flying? Because she wants to get a better grip on the broom.
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has 72.54 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
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has 63.65 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".
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has 66.75 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, drug, husband, wife
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite? A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
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has 80.84 % from 304 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, drug
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together. Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared. "What happened?" asks his bride. "I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, holiday
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work