Q: Why aren't Pakistani good at Football?
A: Because every time they get a Corner, they open a shop.
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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
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An Arabic kid joined my football team.
All he did was blow the plays.
A biker walks into a gay bar and sits down to have a drink when a guy walks up to him and asks "hey biker you ever played barroom football"?
"What are you talking about" the biker replies.
"You know you guzzle a beer down that's the touchdown then pull your pants down and bend over and if you can fart the kicks well."
The gay guy goes first to demonstrate.
The biker states "I can do that and even better."
He chugs the beer, slams the bottle, stands up pulls his pants down bends over to fart the gay guy jumps behind him and shouts "blocked that kick".
Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
A: Beat it. We're closed.
Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard?
A: A new last name.
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Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
Yo mama so ugly that the football team yelled at her to get out of the bus.
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Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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