Joke #13718

The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: communication, computer, mean, technology, work

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Anthony Weiner got in trouble with his Hispanic online name "Carlos Danger". He is now using a French online name, "Jacques Ouef".
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I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me." So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!" I said, "£100 and it's yours."
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has 85.20 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: computer, money, phone, work
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
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has 84.16 % from 727 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, technology, wife, winter
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
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has 83.85 % from 307 votes. More jokes about: computer, history, IT, technology
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... The ass hole is usually in charge.
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has 83.40 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, life, management, work
Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra." Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!" Wife: "You wear shorts!"
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has 83.05 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, marriage, mean, money
Workplaces are like septic tanks: All the biggest lumps eventually rise to the top.
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has 82.72 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: management, mean, work
A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, "Are you a smoker?" "Not even a little," said the young man. "How about alcoholic beverages?" "Never touch 'em," he replied. The boss smiled and asked, "So you spend a lot of time with girls?" The applicant said, "No, not really." "So you don't have any vices?" "Well, I do have one," he admitted. "And what would that be?" the boss asked. "I tell lies."
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has 82.69 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, communication, drug, women, work
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed." Guest: "I'll make my own bed." Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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has 82.51 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work