Joke #13782

Q: What do ghosts use to phone home? A: A terror-phone.

Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"

Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.

Someone calls at the hotline: Good evening. I’ve just installed Windows 98... So? Wheel I have a problem... Ok, ok, you just said that...

Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.

Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.

Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.

Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down. He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck. He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking. A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do. He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him. The windows roll down and smoke pours out. He sees a bunch of empty beer bottles. The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?" He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them. The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"