Q: What do ghosts use to phone home?
A: A terror-phone.
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What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone.
Wing, Wing, Halo
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement."
I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code."
After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
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Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
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Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
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Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy.
The first man married a nurse.
Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot."
The second man married a telephone operator.
Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices."
The third man married a school teacher.
Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are frigid."
The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband.
He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary.'"
Then, the telephone operator's husband calls and sourly says, "Don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.'"
Later that afternoon, the teacher's husband calls and happily says, "When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was 'We are going to do this over and over until we get right.'"
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
