What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.
What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
What do you call an incestuous nephew? An aunt-eater.