I bought these shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!
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A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms.
"That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk.
"What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde.
"It says one dollar right here on the packaging."
"Tax," replies the clerk.
"Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."
Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
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Don't get upset if I ask you where something is in Target when you choose to wear a red shirt and khakis to shop.
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Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."
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A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viagra.
The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose.
“Why not?” asked the man.
“Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor.
“But I need it really bad,” said the man.
“Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor.
The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.”
The doctor finally relented saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.”
On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling.
The doctor asked, “What happened to you?”
The man said, “No one showed up.”
Q: Why is there cotton in medicine bottles?
A: To remind the black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
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A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs.
Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder.
They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?"
"Heroin"
"But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange."
"This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
When I arrived at a hotel in order to fill in my identities I noticed the word "sex" so I wrote: YES PLEASE.
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The Bible says I'll pay for my sins.
I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!"
Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
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Joke has 79.11 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar