A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?"
The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"
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My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?".
I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
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I play the worlds most dangerous sport.
I disagree with my wife.
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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Joke has 84.27 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra."
Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!"
Wife: "You wear shorts!"
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Mum: "How would you describe me?"
Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK"
Mum: "What does that mean?"
Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent."
Mum: "What about JK?"
Dad: "Just Kidding."
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What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?"
Student: "Future impossible tense."
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Me: "I love you."
You: "Is that you or the wine talking?"
Me: "It's me talking to the wine."
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I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine...
I always get better with age.
The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.