Joke #140

A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."
Vote:
has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
Vote:
has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: fat, friendship, women
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
Vote:
has 49.74 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, military, women
Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain. She asks the doctor what he has on sale. "Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100." Surprised she asks why the price difference? "Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak.
Vote:
has 73.22 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: holiday, women
In the beginning of time, God created the world and then rested. Then he created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.
Vote:
has 81.40 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: god, time, women
75% of women do not eat after 6... shots.
Vote:
has 80.42 % from 252 votes. More jokes about: food, women
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
Vote:
has 58.35 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
Vote:
has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
Women are just like fine wine. I only like the white ones.
Vote:
has 37.03 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: racist, white people, wine, women
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.
Vote:
has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, political, women, work