A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before and after marriage.
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !
First woman in space: "Houston, we have a problem." What? "Never mind." What's the problem? "Nothing." Please tell us. "I'm fine."
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Three women are out clubbing and they spot a club that says, "Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The first floor has a sign on the door that reads, "All men here are short and plain." The women laugh and continue up to the second floor. The sign reads, "All men here are tall and plain." Still this isn't good enough, and the women proceed to the third floor. "All men here are short and handsome." The women still want more and go to the fourth floor, where the sign reads, "All men here are tall and handsome." This is perfect and the women are preparing to go in, when they realise that there is still one more floor. They go up one floor and read the sign. "There are no men here. This floor is built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.