Joke #140

A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."

Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.

Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Answer: Pregnant.

Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.

Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.

I want me a big black girl...the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.

At a Whitehouse party for past presidents. Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha. Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."

The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn’t be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that." "It’s quite understandable," said the archbishop, and after a moment added, "as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse."

Q: Why do some women look at blank paper? A: They like to read their rights.

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."