Joke #502

Q: How do you blind a woman? A: You put a windshield in front of her.
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A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!” The doctor replied, “Show me.” So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again. She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
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I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
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A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...
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Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
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I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
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Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!
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Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
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A beautiful woman in her thirties was passing through customs in London, when the customs official asks her what the reason for her trip to London was. Business or pleasure, he asks? Sadness and pleasure! She says to the officer! Why? Well, my 75 years old husband has just died and I came to his funeral! My condolences, says the officer! It must be a very difficult and painful time you're going through! Not really, this is my pleasure! I'm so sad because only now I found out that he was dead broke and did not leave a dime, a penny, not even a will for me!
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Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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More jokes about: bible, communication, men, women