Joke #502

Q: How do you blind a woman? A: You put a windshield in front of her.
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has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: women

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Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions? A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women
The waitress asked how I would like my coffee. I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".
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has 61.60 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: black people, customer service, women
On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy." "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" "Tiger Woods, the golfer." "Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that." The couple then makes passionate love. When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. "I'm hungry. I'm calling room service." "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" "He'd come back to bed and do it a second time." The husband drops the phone and makes love to his wife a second time. When they finish, he goes back to the phone. "What are you doing now?" she asks. "I'm still hungry, so I'm going to ring room service for some food." "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" "He'd come back to bed and do it one more time." The husband puts the phone down and heads back to bed. Exhausted after the third lovemaking session, he shuffles back to the phone and starts to dial. The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?" "No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this hole!"
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has 83.19 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: women
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
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has 85.67 % from 2118 votes. More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife, women
Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.
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has 26.83 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, men, women
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: game, money, women
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
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has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: husband, wife, women
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
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has 30.41 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, time, women
Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, theyre finally together. One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
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has 83.79 % from 577 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, kids, marriage, women