Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
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Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?
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I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers?
A: Because after they die, they lie still.
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You mama so bugle one detection went the other derection.
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I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?"
Me: "Drunk"
Son: "What's mom gonna be?"
Me: "Mad"
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex.
"Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom.
"Making a cake" his mom replies.
Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks.
"Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried.
"Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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Joke has 47.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection.
Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread.
So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread.
The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it."
Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."