Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
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Similar jokes
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An elderly couple in their 80's were going to Florida.
At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going.
The wife says "what did he say".
The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going.
He then tells the officer that we are going to Florida.
The customs officer now asks how long they were going to Florida for.
The wife says "what did he say".
The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know how long we are going to Florida for.
The husband tells the officer that they were going for 2 months.
The customs officer then asks where they were coming from.
The wife says "what did he say".
The husband turns to his wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we were coming from.
The husband tells the officer that they were from Hamilton.
The customs officer thinks for a minute and tells the husband that he had dated a lady from Hamilton and she was the worst piece of ass he ever had.
The wife says "what did he say".
The husband turns to his wife and says "He thinks he knows you".
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Why are niggers afraid of chainsaws?
Because when you turn on a chainsaw it says "Run nigga nigga nigga Run nigga nigga nigga"
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Your mama's so fat she asked for a water bed and we threw a blanket on the ocean.
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Your message has not been delivered.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.
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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A: You would think R but it is the C that love.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?"
I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?"
He said, "A werewolf."
I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on."
He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
Scene: A radio newsroom.
Caller: "I just wanted to let you know you're off the air."
Host: "Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it."
Caller: "It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that."
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Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah?
A: Only 3 inches.
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