Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets!
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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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Q: How do you identify a bald eagle?
A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner.
It's like it wasn't even designed for women.
How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.
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Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween!
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
