Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets!
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Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
A man works in the operations department of a large bank.
Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Yo mama so ugly that she doesn't need a costume for Halloween.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
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