Joke #14207

The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"

The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.

Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q? A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.

I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head. "I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."

Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."

Two blondes were talking together: First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?" Second: "He isn't just now my engaged." First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!" Second: "He is now my husband!"

Work emails are like the gym. You sign up for it thinking it will be loads of fun. You get bored of it within hours. You only keep going to keep up your reputation. The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back.