Joke #14214

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo!
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has 62.04 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: animal, knock-knock
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
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A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
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has 44.47 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog, game
What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Yo mama is so stupid, when I offered her animal crackers she said no thanks, I'm a vegetarian.
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has 76.66 % from 370 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say. His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?" He says"Quack quack Mummy." His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right." She says "What does a dog say?" He says "Woof woof Mummy." She says "Very good." She says "What does a cat say?" He says "Meow meow Mummy." She says "Yes that's right." Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go." His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?" The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says." Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, game, insulting
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?" "In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush." "So what’s the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"
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has 79.71 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop