A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog.
‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman.
‘No,’ replies the boy.
And the dog bites the mailman’s leg.
‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman.
‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
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First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them?
Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.
Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent.
What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow.
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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