Joke #4097

A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.

They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.

"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"

A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"

Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?

What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks.

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson? He stank to the bottom of the pool.

Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.

Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.