Joke #14265

I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said "Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place..." I asked "Are you single?" She replied "No, I'm a dentist."

Trafic policeman: "Didn't you hear my whistle, madam?" Woman driver: "Yes, but I don't like flirting while I'm driving."

Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"

Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"

Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"

Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"

A pregnant lady learns from her dentist that she needs a root canal. She says to the dentist, "darn ... I'd just as soon give birth as have a root canal". The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind so I know what position to put the chair in".

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?" "Of course my child, What can I do for you?" "Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?" "Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie." "You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'. The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son",he replied. Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?" The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument designed for use by women, but which has never been used." Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.