"Do you know what the difference is between toilet paper and a shower curtain?"
"No"
"So, it was you!"
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No!
You don't have "Bad luck".
You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
Lenin dies and goes to Saint Peter to tell him whether to go to hell or heaven.
There was a big problem among the saints because the half of them wanted him to hell and the other half in Paradise.
Then they asked God, who of course tells them to go to Hell.
After a week of being in hell, devil visited St. Peter and complained: "This Lenin will destroy me. One week in Hell only and he has already started their courses and demonstrations."
St. Peter much forced agrees to accept Lenin in Paradise.
From that day and then there was a disturbing silence.
After two months St. Peter goes to heaven and he sees what?
Everyone sitting around and Lenin standing in the middle and talking.
Among the distinguished listeners the Saint recognises Jesus Christ.
He calls him and says: "God will punish you"
And he answers: "Who? God? But God does not exist."
What was Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
Yo mama so fat when she uses a space shuttle as a vibrator.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?
A: Stinkerbell!