"Do you know what the difference is between toilet paper and a shower curtain?"
"No"
"So, it was you!"
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No!
You don't have "Bad luck".
You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
Yo Momma is so big the sun rotates around her.
Did you know if you look in the mirror it's the biggest joke ever.
Did you hear about the blind circumcicionist?
He got the sack.
I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said "1 dollar for dirty joke."
Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.
Homeless man: "Alright sir whats your name?"
Me: "John"
Homeless man: "So Johny, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have."
Me: "Two?"
Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?"
Me: "Two?"
Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?"
Me: "Two?"
Homeless man: "Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?"
Me: "I don't know? A lot?"
Homeless man: "Well Johny, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy."
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl.
One day she told him that the next day was her birthday.
He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."
He came fifth and received a toaster.
If you have a grief nobody feels,
If you have a pain nobody feels.
If your heart is broken nobody feels,
but if you fart all will understand.
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