Joke #14281

"Do you know what the difference is between toilet paper and a shower curtain?" "No" "So, it was you!"

No! You don't have "Bad luck". You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.

Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.

My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-

Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.

Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.

Your mother is so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck!

Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.

Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.

A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my child?" The priest asks back. "Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible." "When did you do use this awful language?" said the priest. "I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards." "Is that when you swore?" "No, Father." Said the man. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away." Is THAT when you swore?" asked the Father again. "Well, no." said the man, "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!" "Is THAT when you swore?" asked the amazed Priest. "No, not yet." The man replied. "As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew towards the green. And as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball." "Did you swear THEN?" asked the now impatient Priest. "No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole." "You missed the f**king putt, didn't you?" sighed the Priest.

Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.