"Do you know what the difference is between toilet paper and a shower curtain?"
"No"
"So, it was you!"
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No!
You don't have "Bad luck".
You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
There’s one good thing about life.
It’s only temporary.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
A manufacturing plant was in full swing one day.
The company's massive machine was humming along, taking in the raw materials at one end and churning out the finished product at the other.
All of a sudden, the machine stopped and ground to a halt.
Workers climbed all over it like ants to get it started again.
The plant's manager stormed out of his office to find out why his multi-million- dollar machine wasn't making him any money.
He listened to his people saying they couldn't figure it out, and he told them to call a technician.
Soon a tech arrived, and the manager frantically explained to him that he needed his machine back as soon as possible.
The technician listened patiently, took one look at the massive hulk of motionless metal, and immediately walked over to a small panel, opening a tiny door inside to see a screw.
The technician took a screwdriver and turned the screw one-quarter turn to the right, and the machine suddenly came back to life as if nothing was wrong.
The manager hurried over to thank the technician, shook his hand, and asked what he owed him for saving his company.
The technician answered, "$100,000.00".
The manager looked at him and said, "You were here less than two minutes and just turned one screw. How can you charge so much? Give me an itemised bill."
The technician calmly wrote out on a piece of paper:
-Turning of one screw: $1.00.
-Knowing which screw to turn: $99,999.00.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, it sounds like Velcro when she takes her panties off.
Bully: Your dick is probably like a tic tac.
Geek: No wonder your mom's mouth is so fresh.
Class: Oooooohhhh!