Joke #11124

Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
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Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
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One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
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Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨" Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes." Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?" Athlete: "For stopping."
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Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
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Once there was a farmer. He had two teenage sons. This farmer had just inherited some of money from his brother's recent death. He couldn't decide which son he could send to college, since he could only afford to send one. This farmer also had two ducks. These ducks were retarded. They were only two ducks on the farm that weren't normal. He told his sons that whoever could get the most money for the duck would go to college. The sons went out in attempt to collect as much money as they could. The first son was walking down the street when he passed a man working in the yard. The man asked him if the duck was for sale, for the man loved the taste of ducks.He offered the son 10 dollars for his duck. The son decided this was very good, so he took it. He decided his brother wouldn't be able to get close to his success. The second son was walking and passed a whorehouse. He went in and said that he didn't have any money, but he would give them the duck. One girl said fine. After they f**ked, she decided that she didn't want the duck anymore. The son said he would take the duck back if they f**ked again. She agreed. After they f**ked the second time, the son left. He was walking home, thinking about what to do with the duck when it broke the leash. The duck ran out into the street and was hit by a car. The lady that hit it jumped from her car and started apologizing profusely. The son insisted it was ok, but the lady said she would pay for the duck. She was in a hurry, so she gave him 25 dollars and sped off. When the sons got home, the farmer asked the first son what he got. He proudly displayed the 10 dollars. The farmer was impressed. He asked the second son the same thing. "That's nothing. I got a f**k for a duck, a duck for a f**k, and 25 dollars for a f**ked up duck."
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.
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Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.
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The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
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Knock Knock! Who's there? Zany Zany who? Zany body home?
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