A: "What is your biggest fear?"
B: "Being forgotten, what's yours?"
B: "Hello"
B: "?"
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[first day as a pilot]
Control tower: What's your location?
Me: I'm in the cockpit.
Control tower: I mean where is the airplane?
Me: Mainly behind me.
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Just had an argument with the manager in McDonald's.
What a clown!
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Yo mama so ugly that the football team yelled at her to get out of the bus.
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Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"?
A: He got crucified
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A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English.
Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors.
When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?"
"You mean J.C?", responds the alien.
"yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok".
Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!"
The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?"
The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"
The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"
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Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"
Mom: "Because he never lies."
Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
FBI.
FB…
We are asking the questions here!
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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
A: Doyouthinkysaraus.
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I haven't spoken to the mother in law for 6 months now... apparently, it's rude to interrupt!
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A lady goes to the doctor, and says:
"Doc, I have this smell about me that I can't get rid of no matter what I do. Can you help me?"
The doctor says, "yeah I can help you but I'll have to examine you. You'll have to take all your clothes off first."
So the lady takes her clothes off.
Right away the doctor says, "hold on, I'll be right back."
A couple minutes later he comes back with an 8-foot stick that has a little hook on the end of it.
The lady says, "oh doctor, what str going to do with that?"
And the doctor says, as he's going through the movements of opening a high window, "well I'm going to open the window, it smells like shit in here."
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Joke has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, doctor, insulting, women