Joke #1446

Nothing spreads easier than butter, except for yo mommas legs.
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has 44.51 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!” So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
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has 77.62 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music, women
A girl was pampering a horse with her hand while watching display of the horses, suddenly she touched the genital of the horse. The excited horse screeched, jumped and ran away very fast. The horse’s guard faced the girl and said, “Ma’am please do the same to me, so I can run, chase and retrieve my boss’s horse.”
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has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
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has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lawyer
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, life
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home. Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on her wedding night.” She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing. “That’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself. Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it. The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises. “Well Mom,” she replied, “you always said if it hurt I should scream.” “You’re absolutely right sweetheart, ”the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter. “Now why were you laughing?” she asked. “You always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered. “True enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days. “Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter. “Why was it so quiet in your room last night?” “Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”
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has 84.19 % from 2136 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, marriage, sex, wedding
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding in an elevator, when they see a small puddle in the corner. The brunette looks at it. "That's definitely cum," she says. The redhead touches it. "That's definitely cum," she says. The blonde takes a little taste. "That's definitely cum, but nobody in our building."
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has 81.04 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day. She showed it to me, and it was BDSM. She asked me "What we should do?" Me: "Probably not spank him." She belted me with the magazine. Now I know where he gets it from.
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has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, life, wife
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
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has 62.45 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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has 56.42 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, geography