I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
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What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
Are you gonna eat that?
Q: How big are the pastro's beds?
A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated.
When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh my! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"
The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!"
Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...Yeah, and cold, too!"
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?"
She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.
Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"
He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Roses are red
violets are blue,
I have never tried
So can I stick it up you?
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A boy watches his mum and dad having s*x he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her d*ggy style I want a puppy."
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster.
As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens.
The farmer is impressed.
At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens.
The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried.
Next morning,not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow.
Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.
The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!"
And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land."
Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike?
A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.