I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
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Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys?
Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
A man is working a a d*ldo store, when a brunette walks in.
She asks him how much for the black d*ldo?
He replies $50 for the black one, $50 for the white one.
She leaves without purchasing anything.
A red head walks in and asks him how much for the white d*ldo?
He replies $50 for the white one, $50 for the black one.
she doesn't buy anything.
A blonde enters the store and asks him how much for a d*ldo?
He answers $50 for a black one, $50 for a white one.
She asks how much for the plaid one on the shelf behind him?
He says oh thats a very special one, thats $250.
She buys it.
At closing, the manager walk in and asks the man how much he sold.
The man said no d*ldos but i sold your thermos for $250.
The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus,
but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back."
Jonny: "That's what she said."
Miss: "Get out!"
Jonny "She said that too."
Vote:
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of his pants.
The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?"
The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
What did the two tampons say to eachother?
Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!