Joke #5244

I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
Vote: has 69.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
One day a tiny Apache indian child walked into Big Chief Sitting Bull's Teepee. "Sitting Bull," He asked, "Why does every man in our tribe have such long, complicated names?" "Well," says Sitting Bull, "Its simple.Whenever a baby in this tribe is born, His Father wanders outside, absorbs the wonder of nature and then names his child on the first thing he sees. Why do you ask, Two dogs fucking?"
Vote: has 85.14 % from 439 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
What does a white chick and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts !
Vote: has 27.54 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
An apple, a banana and a penis got into an argument one day. The apple says sadly "I have the worst life ever. People take one bite of me and throw me on the ground." The banana says "You think thats bad? People take off my clothes, eat my insides and leave my clothes on the floor." The penis laughs. "You guys have it easy. You try having people sticking you in dark, wet caves, putting bags over your head, messaging you for hours and making you do push-ups until you throw up!"
Vote: has 78.85 % from 363 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!
Vote: has 71.50 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, lesbian, mechanic
A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed. An young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge. The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just setting you clean” The patient repeated again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said “Sir everything should be OK” The patient just kept on asking again and again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much. So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly man ejaculated on nurse’s hand. The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, “Ma’am, Thanks but I still need to know 'Are my tests results back?’”
Vote: has 88.40 % from 847 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, health, hospital, sex
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dirty, time, Yo mama
My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things to her. "...........dishes."
Vote: has 66.31 % from 218 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, wife
When do boys ask for a girl’s hand? When they get bored by theirs!
Vote: has 77.85 % from 242 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
Vote: has 86.56 % from 1264 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, dirty, gay