At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
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Why are men like bank accounts?
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest!
An airplane was about to crash.
There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes.
The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die."
So he took the 1st pack and left the planernThe 2nd passenger , Barack Hussein Obama, said , "I am the 44th President of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die."
He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.rnThe 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son , I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The little boy said , "That's okay , Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."
Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
Vote:
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
The lawyer’s motto:
a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it!
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
My grandfather came from a very poor family.
The only time he tasted meat was when he bit his tongue.
Once there was a magical mirror.
When you told the thruth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever.
One day three college girls went to the mirror.
The red head said "I think I'm the smartest one."
Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world.
The brunette then said "I think I'm the prettiest one."
Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good looking boyfriend , and a lot of money.
Then the blonde said " I think...*poof*"
Then she suddenly dissapearred forever
Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft?
A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
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