If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first? The quarter, because it has less sense (cents).
This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations. It’s true. My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
An actuary priced an automobile ‘fire and theft’ policy with an extremely low premium. When asked why it was so cheap, he said, ‘Who’d steal a burnt car?’
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
Yo' Mama is so poor, her bathroom consists of a tin can and a pile of leaves.
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour? A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.