Joke #1565

Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral? A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.
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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?" The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."
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There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
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I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say "you'll be next!" They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
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Failed my biology test today: They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?" Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.
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I'm not saying I'm racist at all, but... I put chocolate milk in back of the fridge.
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Friend: your racist me: i'm not racist because racisms a crime and crime is for black people.
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Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
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How do you kill 10,000 Mexicans? Throw a peso over a cliff. How do you kill 10,000 more? Tell them nobody got it.
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Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas? A: So they'll have something to unwrap.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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