Joke #1579

Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money

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Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
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In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul." I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening." The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life." I have asked her only: "for my money?"
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Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
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George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." "That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news." "The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, office, wife
I can't see the point of going to a lap-dancing club. If I wanted a woman who would take my money and sexually frustrate me, I would get married.
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Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
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What’s the difference between a pigeon and a tramp? The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.
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A man wakes up after spending 20 years in a coma. One of the first things he does is ring his stockbroker. ‘Your assets have increased considerably,’ says the stockbroker. ‘The £20,000 you had invested with us is now worth £20 million.’ ‘That’s fantastic,’ says the man. Just then the phone starts bleeping and a recorded voice interrupts, ‘To continue this conversation please insert another £500,000.’
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Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money
A worker goes to his boss and says, ‘You have to give me a raise. There are three other companies after me.’ ‘Is that so?’ says the manager. ‘And what companies are those?’ The worker replies, ‘The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.’
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money